I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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