is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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