And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
