Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
