I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Did I show you my penis last night?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
