census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
