who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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