I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
