Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
