Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i've created a new STD.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
