At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
