i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize