he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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