honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
