Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
