A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
