It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
