he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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