He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
