Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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