I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
