she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
