I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize