sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
