I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
