Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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