the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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