what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize