i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize
