I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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