I feel great
I just peed on a car
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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