Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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