His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
