HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
