she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
