alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
