I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
