so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
