I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
