SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
