Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
