Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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