youre lurking in front of me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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