..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
