hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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