I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize