During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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