i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
