Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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