Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
