Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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