Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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