How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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