I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
