this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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