life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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